Solipsism

I saw this word, solipsism, on a shirt the other day, and I did not have the foggiest idea what it meant. Now I do, and when you look it up you will to; alternatively, you may be able to derive its meaning from what will follow, but I won't hold my breath.
A passage from an ancient journal states, "...the thing is to find a truth which is true for me, to find the idea for which I can live and die." I sit here thinking where does this writer want me to go. Is he urging me to seek a truth for me? Or, is he seeking the the answer to a truth about mankind? Is there anything, other than family and country, for which I would die? If I have within me that truth already, how do I know for sure it is that one truth that, above all others, encompasses who I really am? There are so many questions that lead up to finding the real answer, I don't know if a person can ever really find the solution. Each question leads to another answer, and, maybe, a brutal realization about yourself.
This quotation clearly is part of an existential philosophy put into part of a sentence. Or, is it the barest definition of existentialism, i.e. the essence of the question is asked by every man, woman, and child on this earth. Who am I? What am I here for? The search for this truth, whatever the truth may be, all has to start with the basics about our carbon-based lives. Is this search what being a man or woman on this earth is really all about? Living one' s life always looking, always searching for an answer that fits the question. I do not think that anyone ever really knows. We are all here for a reason, but in this context the question becomes is there a reason I am here.
I am not speaking of the biological reason, I am speaking of the basis for those decisions a person makes that leads to a certain role in society as we individually know it. On those grounds, to find the truth about myself is a much more difficult question.
Is there a truth you personally know that makes your throat tight and your heart pound in your chest? Loving your kids, parents, family or friends cannot be the truth that anyone is really seeking. Those things are part of the foundation or platform from which a person casts about for that element of truth that they would live or die for. Love of God and fellow man. Love of country. Or is the truth some ideal for which a person stands? As I said in another post, who we become is our gift to God. Maybe that is the truth of which Kierkegaard spoke: if you live your life to its fullest potential that truth will find you.
More troubling is another tangent: does this truth change with age and environment? Does the truth change with a man's nature? I have always thought that a man prays in an attempt to change his own nature, not to influence God. Through prayer, can you effect the change you need in order to bring about the influences you want to find? If you can, what on earth do you ask for? Wisdom to make the right decisions? Strength to bear the burdens with which you have been loaded? Courage to face that which you fear? I think that the search for truth may also be a combination of all those assets a man or woman wishes he or she had, should they be lacking. The attributions of the Lion, the Tin Man, and the Scarecrow after they met the Great Oz wrapped up with a nice little bow.
Whatever the truth you are seeking turns out to be, I think that you will know when y0u find it. I don't know if bells will ring in your head, but you may feel truly happy with the trip to find that which you have been seeking. Some may never want to know what their truth is, content to stumble through life looking for the next resting area. This I know: for each person, it has to be different. Your children will have their own truth, and you may never know what it is not even in your dreams. You can lead, but will they follow? You can inspire a certain belief, but there is no way to force a child to hold something you believe to be true as his or her own. The truth, I am convinced, is different for all of us. Kierkegaard never says what his truth is, and maybe that is just it. He may be saying search out for yourself that which inspires you, that which leads you to live life to the fullest potential, that for which you would live and die.
Mine is out there somewhere. Waiting for me to throw a rope around its neck, drag it down, and tie it off so I can take my fill and be happy.
Though gem: definition of solipsism: My mind is the only thing that I know exists...